All by myself

I’ve been on my own in a rather large house since the 25th of April. Here’s why I should never be left alone for long periods of time without proper adult supervision:

I’m not good at killing spiders.
There’s no one to vent to but the stuffed animals.
I refuse to unclog the shower drain because the hair monster smells. Bad. Ignoring the dishes doesn’t make them go away.

I have no self control when it comes to food.