FAQ part trois

Hey, Lauren! How’s your novel coming along?
Yeah, alright. I wrote almost 400 words three weeks ago.

That’s… that’s not a lot.
It’s not like I haven’t been writing, I’ve just been busy working on other things.

Such as?
I wrote a pretty kick ass greeting in a birthday card last weekend.

Ok…
I’ve also been responsible for some rather amusing text messages.

Right. I heard you’re living on your own at the moment, how’s that working out?
There’s a hair-monster living in my shower drain that I’m too much of a princess to remove, so now I play this game I like to call ‘Can I finish showering before the bathroom floods?’ So far I’m winning.

Uh huh. And how many times have you had ice cream for breakfast this week?
Not once!

Does 'not once' mean 'twice'?
No.

Three times?
Maybe.

I was looking at some of your older blogs this morning. They’re great. Why aren’t you funny anymore?
Shuddup. You write something better, genius.

Ok, I will.
Good.

Good.
I look forward to reading it.

I look forward to you reading it.
And I look forward judging you, Judge-y McJudgeface.

That was mature. How old are you?
How old are you?

I don’t know. I don’t exist. You made me up.
Oh yeah.

You’re a strange lady.
Your mother’s a strange lady.

Good luck with the hair-monster.
Good luck with your FACE.