Last week I spent the night at a friend’s place. Many a drunken evening has wound up with me asleep on the floor of her lounge room, a task that would be far easier were it not for her two, furry, precious babies. For the sake of protecting their identities, I shall refer to them as 'Fluffy Butt' and 'The Other One.'
Comically large tail - hilarious to play with when drunk.
The Other One
Ginger - has no soul.
The Other One is younger, fatter, and seemingly stupider than Fluffy Butt. I say ‘seemingly’ because the more I get to know the ginger fur ball, the more I start to think that maybe he’s not stupid at all. Maybe he’s a genius. An evil genius hell bent on making life as hard as possible for everyone around him. Here is a step by step breakdown of an average night sharing a space with The Other One:
Feel something ticking face
Assume it is a giant spider
Swat at the spider
Realise you just smacked a cat in the face
Hear rumbling sound
Open eyes to see cat staring at you
Roll over and face other direction
Rumbling sound resumes
Open eyes to see cat is now on the other side
Sit up to shoo cat away
Cat sits on pillow
Immediately stop feeling guilty about smacking it in the face
Push cat off pillow
Fall asleep again
Wake to strange noise
See cat pulling shoe laces out of your shoes while older, less evil cat stands by and does nothing to stop this, proving once and for all which side he’s on.
Lose will to go on
Go to work on a combined total of one hours sleep