Friday, March 19, 2010

20 Questions

21, technically.

  1. Does it make you a hypocrite if you’re happy for Miss Piggy to be in love with Kermit, but freaked out by the way Gonzo is sexually attracted to chickens?
  2. Is there anything wrong with trying not to think too much about your pin number while standing at the ATM on the off chance that the person behind you can hear your thoughts?
  3. Is it weird to name your boobs after the Two Ronnies because they’re both brilliant, but one is noticeably smaller?
  4. Is it weird to name your boobs?
  5. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, is Napoleon Dynamite still one of the most overrated films of all time?
  6. Will romance novels become obsolete now that we have high speed internet connections?
  7. Is it OK to smack a friend in the face for being the only person in the world besides Kanye West who thinks that Kanye West is Jesus?
  8. Now that Michael Jackson has faked his death, how long will it be before they release a “lost” single featuring him and Tupac?
  9. Would people care more about political elections if we held them via a reality TV show and SMS vote?
  10. Are giraffes supposed to be terrifying?
  11. Has George Michael ever been arrested somewhere classy?
  12. Is ShamWow the devil’s work?
  13. How much therapy do you need if your ultimate sexual fantasy is to be lost in space with Doctor Who? (The hot one, clearly.)
  14. If real estate agents are allowed to call dilapidated houses “a renovators delight,” can you call an ugly boyfriend or girlfriend “a real fixer-upper?”
  15. Is the universe trying to tell you something if your highschool PE teacher's name rhymes with "molester?"
  16. Should breakfast consist of more than a jar of Nutella and a spoon?
  17. Is man’s natural enemy the revolving door?
  18. Why don’t the TV networks just hook up The Bachelor with The Bachelorette and be done with it?
  19. Everyone has considered starting a doomsday cult, right?
  20. If you try to get to sleep at night by clearing your mind, and it becomes so clear that you forget to breathe, are you doing it wrong? Or are you just awesome at it?

1 comment:

Ben Carroll said...

hahaha. there's a couple i will answer for you:

2)you should think of a dummy PIN. i always think 1 2 3 4 as i push the buttons for my actual PIN, which is (obviously) something different, just in case there are some fraudulent psychics behind me in the queue (and ALL psychics are frauds in one way or another, surely?)

5) siiiiiigghhhhhh.NO. it's incredible.