Friday, June 25, 2010

Great days in history: June 25

If you live in the Philippines, happy Arbour Day! Yay for trees!

If you’re Nicole Kidman and/or Keith Urban, happy anniversary! Yay for not being Tom cruise!

If you’re American, happy National Catfish Day! Yay for catfish! (Not just any catfish though, it only celebrates the farm raised ones. That’s a tad discriminatory. No one should be judged or excluded based on where they were born, which is something President Regan neglected to mention in the speech he made when the day was introduced. And he called himself a leader. For shame, sir. For. Shame.)

If you’re a Michael Jackson fan, welcome to me never being able to have another birthday without someone saying ‘You know it’s been *insert number here* many years since Michael Jackson died?’ and everyone else saying ‘Wow, really?’ and me saying ‘Who wants cake?’ and them saying ‘So sad, isn’t it?’ and me saying ‘It’s good cake,’ and them saying ‘He was so talented,’ and me saying ‘Like, really good cake,’ and them carrying on with the conversation as I start to quietly weep into the icing.

Yes, today we celebrate the fact that I managed to make it through another year without accepting candy from strangers, forgetting to look both ways before crossing the street, or getting (fatally) electrocuted. High five!

For a child raised in a (loosely) Christian manner, June 25 is the best possible date for a birthday to fall. Why? It’s exactly six months from Christmas. Presents were always distributed to me on a half yearly basis, and with careful planning, a kid could make their birthday money last the entire six months. Of course, I never took part in this careful planning, and pissed it away in the toy department at Kmart the very next weekend. It’s not my fault Barbie needed so much crap, it’s society’s fault.

Wikipedia tells us that I share my birthday with the likes of George Orwell, Carly Simon, Ricky Gervais, Phill Jupitus (who I saw walking around Edinburgh last year during the Fringe wearing a hat that I can only describe as hideous), and some rapper called ‘Candyman.’ If he’s actually made of candy, it’s gonna be one kick ass party. However, it’s also George Michael’s birthday, so you might want to avoid using the men’s room.

But it’s not all about births, deaths and marriages. And fish. Other things have also occurred on this day. The BBC claims that on the 25th of June 1970, the US launched a new peace plan for the Middle East. Glad to see that worked out.

4 comments:

Julia said...

Happy Birthday. But you need to aware that the cake is a lie.

MagpieMarbles said...

Happy Birthday!!

Ben Carroll said...

happy, as they say, birthday.

Lauren Brown said...

Thank you, thank you, and thank, as they say, you!