Being a writing student is hard. Not because writing is hard, obviously I’ve got skills like a champ, but it’s the time management issue that’s holding me down. Coming up with ideas is the easy part. Like, really easy. My imagination is a smorgasbord of brilliance.
Here’s some of the genius that I have yet to pen. And no, you can’t have them. Intellectual property and copyright and whatnot says they’re mine.
Every time the protagonist does a good deed, he is hit by a wave of bad luck. He must decide whether to keep helping others and live with his curse, or turn to a life of selfishness and good luck. The decision is made for him when aliens invade and one of them eats him and he dies. The end.
A woman goes to the supermarket. She gets lost in the aisles and has to start living there. Then a steak that has passed its use by date becomes so rancid that it comes to life and it eats her and she dies. The end.
An old man gets out of bed on his first day of retirement and realises he doesn’t know what to do with all his free time. He wanders the house all day looking for small jobs to do. Then a grizzly bear that was living in his garage eats him and he dies. The end.
A young woman, who looks suspiciously like me, can’t stop buying books online. Her credit card comes to life and warns her against making another purchase, but she ignores it. The light fixture unexpectedly falls from the ceiling, pinning her underneath. Then some coyotes work out how to come to Australia and they hire a locksmith to unlock her front door and they break into her house and they eat her and she dies. The end.
Satan is bored in hell, so he gets a pet monkey. Then he eats it and it dies. The end.
Mr Potato Head is backpacking through Asia, hoping to ‘find’ himself. I find him instead and I eat him and he dies. He tastes like plastic. The end.
A weary traveller is shipwrecked and finds himself washed up on the beach of an island inhabited by a tribe of cannibals. They capture him and bring him to a big bonfire where they make him their god and he lives happily ever after. The end.