Thursday, August 18, 2011

Modern Romance

(100 points to anyone who got the Yeah Yeah Yeahs reference. You can have those points. They're yours to do with what you wish. High five!)

Apologies for the lack of blog last week. I was planning to do it Friday afternoon, but on Thursday night, much to my surprise, I got my heart smashed into a million pieces by the only guy I’ve ever really loved. Needless to say I was struggling a tad on Friday. To add insult to injury, he chose to do this on a night when I had to get up for work at 4:00 the next morning. Via Skype. Because some people are classy like that.

Here’s how my sleepless night panned out:
10:00pm

1:00am
4:00am (aka ‘time to get up, fool’)

I got to work just before 6:00 with glazed and bloodshot eyes, looking like somewhat of a stoner, and told my manager what had happened, so she wouldn’t think I was a stoner. It was at this point I started to tear up again and had to go hide in the toilets for a while. When I came back I said that I’d be fine as long as we didn’t talk about it or play anything by Adele. She offered up this mature piece of advice:
Her: ‘Get a bunch of pizzas delivered to his house.’
Me: ‘But he’s in Sydney.’
Her: ‘So call a pizza shop in Sydney.’
So much wisdom.

My customer service skills were somewhat below average that morning. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not amazing at the best of times, but I can usually keep my fake smile on. Last Friday, I had absolutely no tolerance whatsoever for what I like to call ‘dickheadery’ (meaning: the act of being a dickhead).



Yeah. Inanimate objects can be dickheads too.

So that sucked balls. And it still sucks balls. I’ve got questions that I know I’ll never get an answer to, but on Tuesday, I woke up and I didn’t feel sick anymore. The whole experience has just reminded me that I’ve got an amazing family, wonderful friends, and a great ass. And isn’t that all a girl really needs in life?

3 comments:

Unknown said...

What's-his-name is an idiot. He has no idea of what he has foolishly taken for granted and you deserve better than guy who displays such a large amount of ‘dickheadery’. The issue with that pillar is another matter. It could just be the way you draw, but it looks mighty suspicious.

Unknown said...

I feel kinda bad for laughing at your pain, but your drawings are great! Stupid pillar...

If there's any advice I can share (I know you haven't had any in the last week), it's that guys can be jerks! And I can say that eventhough I'm one of them - a guy: not a jerk. Then again jerkiness is a metter of oppinion...

Anyhow, thanks for making me laugh, and please keep posting your painful experiences for my viewing please :)

Emanuel

Lauren Brown said...

Many thanks to the both of you for your kind words :) And for your harsh words directed at other people :P