It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Then it was the best of times again.
2011, you were a year of shenanigans and beer and life lessons and beer and good friends and beer and sexually harassing innocent men. Then having another beer.
Last year I wrote a blog on why I hate New Years Eve, and in that blog I included a resolution or five. Let us revisit those and see how I did.
1. Don't eat so many chips that I get chest pains
SUCCESS. I did, however, on more than one occasion eat so much bacon that I got chest pains. But there was no such bacon related resolution.
2. See Europe
SUCCESS. And it was amazing and brilliant and magical. Apart from when I vomited in Greece.
3. Stop typing my Facebook password into every other website I try to log in to
FAIL. Old habits die hard. Or die not-at-all.
4. Stop trying to deactivate the house alarm with my pin number, and stop trying to get money out of the ATM with the alarm code
50/50. I have cut back on how often I do this, but it still happens.
5. Finally become the proud owner of the complete box set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Thanks to Santa Claus, this was a last minute Christmas SUCCESS.
So last year I whinged about it, but this year I feel no such ill-will towards December 31. Usually I hate it because the changing of my wall calendar just reminds me that I’ve wasted another year of my life, but this year was pretty kick ass. I saw some awesome shite, laughed so hard with some great friends that I cried/snorted/peed my pants a little, and learned that making angry playlists on your iPod will get you through anything.
Popular opinion is that the blonde hair I’ve been ABSOLUTELY ROCKIN this year makes me look a lot less like I’m dying than the black hair did; that the stupidest thing I’ve said all year is ‘This apple juice tastes too much like real apples’ (if I wanted to taste a real apple, I’d eat a freakin apple); and that my hatred of people misusing the word ‘ironic’ has grown to such proportions that I’ll either stab someone or have a rage-induced stroke in the near future.
So what are my resolutions for next year?
1. Keep surrounding myself with good people
2. Don’t get porky again because it took five months to drop the weight I gained in Europe. Needless to say the food there is quite good
3. Try to be less of a pervert (men will have to agree to be less attractive, though)
4. Stop playing Florence & The Machine’s Shake it Out on repeat, because other songs are good too
5. Watch the entire boxset of Buffy The Vampire Slayer
And if you still need reasons to look forward to 2012, there’s a possible apocalypse and a new Muppets movie.