Dead as a dodo
Official medical scale used to distinguish between people who are extremely dead and people who are only slightly dead. The four stages of dead-ness are as follows:
The practice of bathing in money has proved to be fun, though extremely unhygienic.
Famous last words
A trend made popular by soap operas, in which the phrase ‘What could possibly go wrong?’ is followed by a mudslide/massacre/explosion/acid rain/battery dying on a mobile phone.
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth
There won’t be more gifts in there. Just teeth.
Different kettle of fish
Before the existence of fish tanks, kettles were a popular fish housing option. When Mrs Jemima Guthrie, a wealthy British socialite, had her fish kettle-napped and held for ransom, she paid the abductors only to have a kettle of far less snooty fish returned. She now keeps her pets in a large tank with a tiny scuba diving ninja to guard them.
Diamond in the rough
This phrase came into existence after the release of the film Aladdin to represent someone whose destiny it is to enter a magic cave and take nothing but the lamp. NOTHING BUT THE LAMP!*
Dead cat bounce
A stock market term meaning ‘awesome Irish comedy band.’
Eaten out of house and home
If you’re a witch who lives in the woods, either don’t build your house out of gingerbread, or avoid small German children.
Do unto others as you would have them do to you
Hello, I’m Lauren. I would like to buy you an ice cream.
Eat my hat
Bart Simpson’s original catchphrase before the animators engaged in an all out brawl after a disagreement over what colour the aforementioned hat should be. 14 animators were killed before they decided to just put some spikey crap on his head and draw him with shorts.
Drink like a fish
Nemo struggled to deal with his success after the movie. He was survived by his wife, Octopussy, and their two daughters, Fishenchip and Fishpun.
Every cloud has a silver lining
Before cloud poaching became illegal in 1977, clouds were the world’s cheapest and main source of silver. They can still be found on the black market.
Diamonds are forever
While your marriage may fail, you’ll still have the ring as a constant reminder of your former partner. It’s kind of like having sparkly, non-contagious herpes.
Fell off the back of a truck
A common and completely legitimate way to obtain a stereo,television, or mega-laser-death-ray.
Face the music
A basic principal of theatre design.
*I've... I've been watching Aladdin...