Happy blog-a-versary!

Today we celebrate a year of my ramblings. To anyone who’s been reading for a year, I appreciate it. I’m not sure why you’re still here, but I appreciate it.

To all the people who found the page while searching for Justin Bieber’s autobiography, I’m sorry I disappointed you. Same goes to the person who came here after searching for ‘women getting their asses pumped by soapy water.’ I realise now that Lauren learns the hard way does kind of sound like the name of a porn site. You live, you learn.

Anyway, to celebrate our year together I thought it would be nice to take a look back at some of the important things we’ve learned:

Drinking excessive amounts of water + not peeing = productivity
Mr Potato Head is the greatest toy that ever existed. Ever
You never forget the first time a lion pees on you
God doesn’t answer the phone
I don’t answer the phone
Bert and Ernie aren’t gay and may or may not live in Narnia
Michael Jackson ruined my birthday
Superman kicks Batman’s ass
Justin Bieber is handy with a set of crayons. Also, Bieber is spelled with an ie not an ei, but my spelling isn’t the issue here
How you too can be as happy as Larry
I’m terribly lonely
The Giving Tree is a victim of domestic violence
If you piss off a lolcat, it will come to your house and cut you
Stealing other people’s successful ideas is the best way to make some cash
I want more attention
The word ‘ejaculate’ is a completely acceptable substitute for the word ‘cry’
Mr Potato Head is still the greatest toy that ever existed